hold my hand and never let go.

2007-03-09T19:16:00.000+08:00

everybody's dumping their blogs.
i'm dumping mine too.
if anyone still sees this.
haha.
i may start again somewhere else.
i may not.
but if i love you enough,
i'll tell you my new blog add.
IF i do start a new one.
(:

[0076]

2007-01-12T22:12:00.000+08:00

the boyfriend's in army.
):

well.
i finally got a com at home.
well atleast,
it's gonna be mine for the next two weeks!
(:

i miss you baby.
loll.
tonight, the first of your army days. (:

[0075]

2007-01-08T12:35:00.000+08:00

oh gosh.
the boyfriend has been flirting.
I'M PISSED.

~~fuck it.~~

[0074]

2006-12-29T15:06:00.000+08:00

hi to all babies who still read my blog.
haha.
i'm so sorry i havent been updating.
but the com at home crashed.
when i get a new com,
i promise i'll come and post again k.
meanwhile,
take care babies. (:

[0073]

2006-10-30T20:48:00.000+08:00

why be so stupid,
why try all means to grab his attention,
when he doesnt care at all?
no no.
he pushes her away like she's an irritating pest.
just fucking dont care.

[0072]

2006-10-28T22:56:00.000+08:00

a sad story.

when he goes all out to help someone else, and ignores the feelings of his other half,
does that mean there's no longer a place for her in his heart?

they start their day meeting one another.
and she's already in a rather bad mood due to the earlier half of her day.
and he assumes that she was just throwing her tantrums.
when she gets all agitated and starts telling him about how terrible her day was so far,
he tells her that she's talking way too loudly,
like she's announcing to the whole world SHE HAD A BAD DAY.
and so her day got worst facing her books and him.
but she tried not to show her displeasure.

the next day,
they both went out with a group of friends.
she got restless after quite a bit of studying.
and again,
he wasnt happy with her.
and so she couldnt help but show her displeasure.
during dinner, she just sat there quietly, feeling unhappy.

the following day,
they met up to study again.
he asked her to help him to do something on the computer.
he asked her not to close one of the windows.
but she did anyway.
and he started hurling vulgarities at her.
but she ignored.
obviously, her day was spoilt, and she ignored him as much as she could.
then, he thinks that nothing was wrong actually,
and left her alone, then went to go study with his friends in the room.
the day passed, and his friends left.
so she waited patiently for him to finish using to computer so that they could have dinner together.
although she promised to be home by nine, she waited.
and at nine fifteen, they finally left for dinner.
dinner was all peaceful and quiet.
then, he decided to send her home, because there was nothing much he could do at home.
well, she was feeling tired after a pretty long day, but he thinks that she's throwing her tantrums as usual.
on the bus ride home, he started talking about the previous night.
and how her displeasure affected everyone else around.
she just turned away quietly, trying hard not to think about what he said.
she tried hard not to cry.
when she finally arrived at the bus stop, she just walked off.
she dashed across the road, hoping that she'd get knocked down by a car.
just because she didnt want him to see her cry.
but after he left, she couldnt help but cry.

she did everything for him.
when they were in trouble, others told her that he'd done so many things for her.
she thought she was the one at fault.
he made her feel so bad.
he said he'd change for her.
and she hopelessly wished for that to happen.
she prayed that he would understand what she wanted from him.
she thought she would never cry again.
but each time they quarrelled, she cried even more.

he shows his displeasure towards her openly.
he messages other girls in front of her, although she's not happy about it.
he blames her everytime they start quarrelling.
he pretends that nothing happened although she demands an apology.

she waits for him to initiate a conversation every night, but to no avail.
she wishes that he'll stop doing the things she doesnt like him to do to her.
she hopes that one day he'll spare a thought for her feelings too.
she's envious of the couples around her.
she's feeling so stupid because whatever she studies doesnt go into her head.
she feels she's going to let everyone in the family down.
she wishes he'd understand the pressure she's facing, the trouble she's trying to keep within her.
she's feeling so lost.
she just needs him to be there for her.
and not bring her further down to hell.
she's trying to understand it's hard for him now, especially with the major exams around the corner.
but does she really deserve that?
she just wants him to say "i love you" whenever she needs someone.
but he's always the one putting her down.
why?

when someone asked her if she ever regretted her choice.
all she could do was sigh.
thats what she's really upset about.
she couldnt even give a definite answer to that question.
this shows she's beginning to regret her choice isnt it?

now everyone thinks she's the FAT UGLY PETTY BITCH.

and yes.
THE FAT UGLY PETTY BITCH DOESNT DESERVE THE PRINCE'S LOVE.

is it always wrong to want her relationship to be like those she see in fairy tales?
where the prince expresses his love for the princess in any way.

she wished he knows how she's feeling.
and wished he could really change to a more sensitive one.
she wished he could be the nice and caring boyfriend.
who'd just brighten up her day in any way.
studying is not an excuse.
no matter what,
he still should leave some time to spend with her isnt it.
and it's not like as if he spends majority of his time studying constructively.

she wishes that he'll support her choices in the future.
just like she'll willingly support him and be there for him no matter what happens.
but then again, will they really have a happy future?

[0071]

2006-10-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

to my dearest juniors.

heed my advice.
study consistently.
or else, you'll all end up like ME.
mugging last minute wont help.
STUDY HARD.
dont slack.
no matter what the environment is like.
do your best to revise and study hard.
and dont let personal matters affect you too much.
or you'll regret it.
really.
(:

[0070]

2006-10-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

i realised i havent been blogging.
lol.
i just remembered that i still have a blog.
heh.

mugging's my hobby.
it's OUR hobby. (:

and i think all the mugging makes me constantly hungry.
i just keep munching and munching i just cant stop.
i need to stop eating.
):
i feel fat.
oh. i AM fat.
):

HELP.
next time you see me munching on snacks,
please tell me to stop.

LOL.
(:

take care everyone.
if anyone still reads this.

and to those having exams, all the best. (:

loves.

[0069]

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

OH YES I'M A BIG ASS FAKER.
IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN TELL IT TO MY FACE.

and i never expected even you..
think of me that way.
fuck off.

you dont even know who i really am.

[0068]

2006-08-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh.
the exam stress is killing me.
and guess what.
i'm feeling the MOST USELESS at this point of time.
i cant even get things right myself.
think i'm gonna flunk my PHYSICS AGAIN.
because i have got totally no interest and time to even READ THE TEXTBOOK.
or even touch the tys.

and someone out there keeps complaining he's got no time although he skips school EVERYDAY and does NOTHING at home except get distracted by a computer.
it's not that i dont wanna help you dear.
you're not helping yourself.
as simple as that.
and it makes me feel even worst when i watch you go on like that.
and when i try to tell you things, you think i'm DEMORALIZING you.
i'm not.
i just dont know how to help you anymore.
i thought talking to you would help.
but it doesnt.
cuz no matter what you just wont get things into your head.
whats the point of us repeating our conversations.
like what i did today, i'm gonna leave you alone if you dont call me.
i'm not gonna look for you lest you say i DISTRACT you.
i'm gonna be there.
but no matter what, you'll have to HELP YOURSELF.
please know that i still love you.

oh well.
it always feels better to get things off my chest.

[0067]

2006-08-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

if you wonder off too far,
my love will get you home.
if you follow the wrong star,
my love will get you home.
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me.
my love will get you home boy,
my love will get you home.

if the bright lights blind your eyes.
my love will get you home.
if your troubles break your stride,
my love will get you home.
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy,
my love will get you home.

if you ever feel ashamed,
my love will get you home.
when there's only you to blame,
my love will get you home.
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy,
my love will get you home.

if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy,
my love will get you home boy,
my love will get you home.

[0066]

2006-08-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

i miss the outings.
the choir outings.
the 85 outing.
the many many outings where i used to gossip with my darlings.
the outings when we'd all go crazy together.
most importantly, i miss the czech trip.
although things would have been much better..
but i still miss it.

most importantly,
i miss the people.
the people who's been there for me.
everyone!

haha.
this is what i've been thinking for the WHOLE day.
i love everyone.
choir peeps.
and s10 peeps.
love my good friends.
my close friends.

most importantly,
i love you baby.
(god knows when you're even gonna read this. =p)

[0065]

2006-08-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

some people should just bloody hell learn how to MYOB.
if you still dont get it, it means

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

i mean.
yes it's wrong of me to skip lessons.
but it's not wrong to choose not to waste time in class.
but to get my ass somewhere to study.
right?

but people just have to tell the teacher they saw me in school.
i mean.. it's okay if you wanna be the teacher's pet.
i'm already in enough trouble with the teachers.
and i want NO MORE trouble.

freak it.
my day is so spoilt alr.
and my tomorrow is ALREADY spoiled.

i want to order my birks.
but it's gonna cost me a bit.
i need to find MONEY.
ARGH.
no one ever has enough money to spend eh.

*WHINES*

[0064]

2006-08-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

life has changed quite i bit.
without choir.
and without those friends that you used to be with almost twelve hours a day.
now it's a whole new group of friends.
mugging and playing together.
miss my "long-lost" friends.
love my mugging pals.

sometimes i wonder if people still care and think about me.
haha.
stupid.
but it always happens when i see things or go to places which remind me of them.

i miss choir.
i swear.
if only i could go back and sing my life away.
or go relive the czech memories all over again.
maybe a happier one.
no tears no fights.
RAH.
i'm feeling emo today.
cuz of the things i saw.
or maybe just because i studied too much today.
HAHA.

[0063]

2006-08-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

i CANT GET MY ASS TO SIT DOWN AND STUDY.
freak it.

and i cant stop my mouth from munching.
i WANNA LOSE WEIGHT.
but i cant stop eating.
GROWLS.
i think it's the exam stress.
or maybe it's just plain piggy me.
ARGH.

and baby,
i really didnt cry because i was late for the appointment.
but i just felt useless at that point of time.
and all the things i heard.
i just needed to get my mind off things.
but i guess things got worst.
i just need a break off everything now.
or else, i'll just screw my life up.
and i wish you'd understand me better.
i dont think i'll make it through this.
i know you're stressed up.
but so am i.
and the stress i'm feeling is more than anything i've ever felt.
it's making me lose my mind.
and i guess.. crying will make me feel better..

[0062]

2006-07-26T23:41:00.001+08:00

OMG LA!
so many people spotted my face on A BUS!
and i DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT BUS IT IS!
JOANNE!!
I THINK IT'S THAT MILLION SMILES THING!!

and i got my new phone.
damn happy.
many thanks to theboyfriend and thefather.
((:

oh.
and I'M DOWN TO SERIOUS MUGGING.
got my timetable all planned out.
can anyone believe it!?!
but i dont think i'll be able to stick to it.
hahaha.
=x
oh wells.
I'LL TRY!

toodles!

[0061]

2006-07-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

I MISS CHOIR.

AND I LOVE GOING AROUND GIVING HUGS TO MY CHOIR DARLINGS.

HAHA.

LOVE ALL OF YOU TO BITS BABY.

(:

[0060]

2006-07-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

picture of the post! LYNETTE.
librarynight.
(:

haha.
i'm BACK.
and..
it's sunshine after the rain.

(:

i love high school musical.

i WANT MY NEW PHONE THIS BAD.

and..

i HATE school.

no one loves it anyway.

RAH.

NO MORE DRAFTS.

NO MORE SLACKING.

it's MUGGING time.

[0059]

2006-07-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

it's not that i dont wanna be with you.
neither is it cuz i dont love you anymore.
it's cuz i cannot remove the barrier i have inside.
i cant pretend that those bad days of my life with you never happened.
i cant rely on you anymore.
it's not about friends.
not about him.
it's about us.
and i SWEAR with everything i have,
that i did NOT lose your ring.
i put it in the FLAP of your bag.
i really dont know if i need you in my life.
we both need to move on.
cuz we're both tired of not being ourselves.

anyway.
life's been shit these days people.
but nonetheless.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DINGNENG. ((:
lol.

[0058]

2006-07-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

here's a picture of me and henry. (:
random post.
but i just think it's nice.
lol. ((:

[0057]

2006-07-05T12:27:00.000+08:00

i'm lazy to say what happened yesterday.
but panorama was great.
(:

my bus ride there with dearest amie. (:

and there's darling joanne.. (:

and dearie fiona.. (: and her boyfriend's fingers. lol.

and here's louis, joanne, me, fiona, and chinsoon(the sunshine boy). (:

louis and jo. (:

and this.. is what happened backstage.

thats fabian and his thongs. lol.

errm. me and adeline and faisal. the sash people. -.-"

my lovely juniors. though they look... ermm.. wierd.

my dearest fabian! friend for soooo long. (:

the wtf girls. lol. no la. our sign. lol. =p

fiona and louis. with me and ugly hair. (:

fiona and louis without the ugly me. (:

MY olivia who's always there for me. loves. (:

a proper photos with my babies. (:

and here's after the concert..

the three pretty soloists. (:
you three did well babes.
damn proud of you. (:

conductor. mr low. (:

[0056]

2006-07-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

okay.
THE WORLD'S COMING TO AN END TONIGHT.

MY f-ing world is ALL MESSED UP.

tell me why it's so messed up.
i hate this feeling.
sucks.

i cant to sleep.
too many things running through my mind.
BAH.

[0055]

2006-07-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

the story of love. (:

A long time ago..
before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time.
virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.
One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together
and were more bored than ever.
Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: Let's play hide and seek!
All of them liked the idea and immediately
Madness shouted: I want to count, I want to count!
since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.
Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: One, two, three...
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.
Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon,
Reason hid in a pile of garbage.
Fondness curled up between the clouds
Passion went to the center of the earth.
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake,
whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.
And Madness continued to count: ... seventy nine, eighty, eighty one...
By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love.
For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide.
And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
Madness: ...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven...
Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid.
And Madness turned around and shouted: I'm coming, I'm coming!
As Madness turned around,
Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide.
Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon,
Lie at the bottom of the lake and
Passion at the center of the earth.
One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.
Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush.
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush.
Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop.
Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands.
Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes.
Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork.
What have I done! What have I done! Madness shouted.
I have left you blind!
How can I repair it?
And Love answered: You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide.
And so it came about that from that day on,
Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness....

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving...
there are some love that don't go away...
but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.
Somebody who never lets go.
Somebody who cherishes you forever.

~~where's my somebody.~~

[0054]

2006-07-01T22:42:00.000+08:00

it's mahjong day today.
and i won 33.5 bucks.
heh.
i think it's the luck thing. =p

and amie, jill, jo, lyn, fi, olivia, charlene, henry, guancheng, ade, max, chin, fabian.
i miss you.
lol.
okay.
i miss TPJC CHOIR.
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
(:

[0053]

2006-06-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

AMIE dearest tagged me.

i love to kiss my GIRLfriends. lynette, joanne, fiona, olivia, amie.
i drink sunkist orange or orangeLEMONADE to cheer myself up. and it's ALL THE TIME i feel happy and high. =p and MILK makes me especially high. milk tea and milkshake especially.
whenever i'm grounded, i'll sit in front of the computer to surf the net and listen to music and SING the WHOLE day. and do ALL the unproductive things to convince my dad to let me go out to study. heh.
i LOVE pineapple tarts. but i eat the pineapple part THEN the crust. i even bake the crust for myself to eat when there's no pineapple left. =p
i go to the arcade to play bomberman whenever i'm feeling irritated and down. and i'll make an effort to find clothes to get in even if i just finished school.
i sleep with things like amie does. i sleep with my three year old MASHIMARO and PIG. and two baby pillows and a bolster. and my pinkMOGU. and i can only sleep if they are placed in a certain position. =x

okay! i'm done! ((:
my list of five!
[x] olivia.
[x] caryn.
[x] hanleong.
[x] fiona.
[x] henry.

lols. TAGGED.
LOVES. (:

and THIS is me and DACHANGJIN. ((:

[0052]

2006-06-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

i miss europe.
and i wanna get back there.
and live as LONG as i want to.
with UNLIMITED amount of CASH.
and i want to own ALBERT. or BILLA. or BOTH.
so that i have unlimited supply of groceries.
and i wanna live in PARKHOTEL if possible.
hotel SIGMA would be fine too.
but parkhotel would be better cuz of the PARK and nice flowers.
and i want somebody to go there with me.
someone who wont add on to my troubles.
someone who'll take care of me.
and someone who'll make me happy.

random.
but my point is,
I MISS EUROPE.
dammit.
):

[0051]

2006-06-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

SO FREAKING SLEEPY.
and it's all thanks to rehearsals.
bloody hell.
because of these rehearsals,
i LOST my voice.
i have a DAMN SEXY voice today la can.
and i couldnt even sing a LOW c.
):

i'm gonna do ANYTHING to my voice to get it back.
if i dont get it back by tuesday,
i'll KILL MYSELF.

and maybe even if i do,
i'll STILL KILL MYSELF.
cuz i cant take it anymore.
my life sucks.

[0050]

2006-06-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday's panorama rehearsal.
one word to describe.
TIRING.
i think like three quarter of the participants either went late or didnt go to school at all.
=x

but dinner time was fun.
haha.
slipped out of the backstage with a fun bunch.
and had mrs fields.
chris.oliviaow.oliviakam.zhiyi.terry.george.justin.
haha.
was rather exciting getting out of the place.
i think we all made a fool out of ourselves la.
hahahaa.

ended only at 945.
so late i almost died at the end.
and GO THE DISTANCE was the sharpest that tpchoir ever went.
TWO tones sharp.
horrible.
i almost died hitting the HIGH c#.
):

and now,
i've lost my voice.
okay.
SEVENTY FIVE percent of it.
lol.

sectionals tmr.
i think i wont sing for panorama jill.
i'll just go there and take photos okay?
=p

[0049]

2006-06-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

i'm addicted to sudoku.
okayy.
i STILL am.
maybe cuz i'm bored.
but i need to do something to occupy my mind.
or else...
haha.
i dont know.
LALALA.

and..
no one will screw up their physics paper like me.
try leaving three quarter of the paper blank.
and the other one quarter filled with rubbish that even i dont understand.
tsk.
the wierdest thing is..
i didnt sleep a wink for the second physics paper.

[0048]

2006-06-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

omg.
absolute HIGHNESS.
imfeelingsoDAMNhighandidontknowwhy.

HIGH.
HIGH.
HIGH.

my gosh.
itfeelsliketheresnoPHYSICSpapertmr.
=x
i cant get to sleep!

[0047]

2006-06-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

AH.
my pretty phone.
and i WANT it.
=x
LOVE always.
((:

so pretty.
so pretty.
so pretty.

i'm obsessed.
with THE phone.
=p

[0046]

2006-06-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

as we stroll alone together.
holding hands walking all alone.
so in love are we two.
that we don't know what to do.
so in love in a world of our own.

as we walk by the sea together.
under stars twinkling high above.
so in love are we two.
no one else but me and you.
so in love so much in love.

we stroll along together.
i tell you, i need you oh so much.
i love, i love you my darling.
can you tell it in my touch.

as we walk down the aisle together.
we will vow to be together till we die.
so in love are we two.
just can't wait to say i do.
so in love in a world of our own.
so in love are you and i.

baby, i hope you realize.
that you mean so much to me.
you're everything i ever wanted in a woman.
to touch, to feel your body close to me.
and i just want to hold you in my arms forever.
can you tell it in my touch.

as we walk down the aisle together.
we will vow to be together till we die.
so in love are we two.
just can't wait to say i do.

so in love are you and i.
so in love.

[0045]

2006-06-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

ah.
my com is screwed up.
~~my mouse is not working.~~okay. edited. NOW it's working.
i cant even blog a proper post.
and i'm gonna have to spend money repairing it again.
and you know,
i think i'm gonna FAIL physics tmr.
like SINGLE DIGITor maybe even ZERO.
no i'm not proud of it.
but i'm stating a fact.
shit it.
why do i suck in physics.
lols.
lalala.
(:

~~wo you kuai le.~~

[0044]

2006-06-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

oh wells.
new blogskin.
new tagboard.
cuz i dont know how to change the colour of the old one.
=x
like my blogskin cuz my photos dont have to be THIS small anymore.
heh.

LOVE always.
i shall go sleep.
haha.
~~not waiting anymore.~~

my life is aimless.
~~i swear.~~

[0043]

2006-06-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

no.
i think, ~~the problem now lies with me.~~

[0042]

2006-06-21T21:04:00.000+08:00

hey jo.
I LOVE YOU TOO.
(:

played mahjong today.
won enough to buy a milkshake for myself.
and somehow,
i feel my life's not worth living anymore.
at the end of the day,
i think back and think it's just another unproductive day.
what is wrong with my life now?
it's aimless.
without an aim, or a drive to work hard.
unlike during my 'o's.
now that my 'a's are coming, i'm feeling lost.
but who cares.
lets just worry bout common tests first.
HA.

[0041]

2006-06-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

to my dear friend,
if i sounded like i was blaming you.
i'm sorry.
i guess i was pretty harsh.
but i guess i said it out of anger.
sorry isnt what you wanna hear now.
that i can understand.
but i guess we both dont understand what each other is going thru.
the only thing i can say to you now is "i'm sorry."

~~but i guess it doesnt matter anymore.~~

[0040]

2006-06-20T20:52:00.000+08:00

oh wells.

~~i guess i'm losing a bestie and a lovedone as well.~~

life's in a big mess.
and i guess i can only blame myself.

and to my dear friend//bestie.
i still love you.
(:

[0039]

2006-06-19T11:01:00.000+08:00

to my dear friend,
i'm not doing anything to myself.
even if i'm creating barriers for myself, it's normal.
i just guess maybe telling you how i feel would make you understand why i'm thinking that way.
but i never knew that you'd ever take sides with someone who said so much about you.
i guess he won you over.
he's just using you to get things in my head.
it's okay if you wanna take sides with him.
but think about it.
when you know i'm not happy,
you dont try to get me to do things i'm not happy doing.
even if you dont wanna help me get rid of someone i detest,
the least you could do is just let me settle my own stuff.
you know, sometimes,
ignorance is a bliss.

[0038]

2006-06-18T23:45:00.000+08:00

it's father's day today.
and i brought my dad to PASTAMANIA.
okayy.
he wanted to eat that.
i wasnt being a cheapo.

the whole world wants me to be with you again.
and the pressure's killing me.
they think it's just right for us to be together.
and it's not me to make others happy.
at the expense of MY OWN HAPPINESS.
selfish as i may be.
but no one wants to be left unhapppy.

maybe i just want the best for myself.
but isnt everyone like that?

some things just make me go mad.

~~tell me whats with all the selfish beings in the world.~~

[0037]

2006-06-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

you.
yeah YOU!
you're missed.

ok.
whoever it is.
CZECH REPUBLIC trip makes me sad. ):
i miss that place.
and the memories.
and the people i went with.
it makes me sad how so many things happened.
how the trip was made unhappy by some people.
and how i wish the trip was a happy one.
but yet, there are some unforgettable memories.
really.

BUT!
im a HAPPY girl today. (:

[0036]

2006-06-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

ifi'mgoingtogiveyouachance,
tofollowyourheart,
thenwhosegoingtoletmefollowmyheart.

hais.

[0035]

2006-06-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

my trip.
in pictures.
(:
enjoy.

scenery. and the buildings that i see there. pretty.

my friends and i. (:

my puzzle piece//sochenda. (:

artistic photo by me. (:

my girls//jo and fi. (:

darlings//jo,fiona,lynette. (:

darling//olivia. (:

lovelies//faisal,lynette,amie. (:

tempting icecream//olivia,charlene. (:

more lovelies. (:

lovelies. (:

choir girls. (:

maggi party. (:

boyfriend and conductor. (:

darling//amie. (:

crazy//aiping. (:

boyfriend//daryl. (:

flowers and me. (:

my day is saved thanks to BUBBLES. (:

[0034]

2006-06-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

did i hear you right.
cuz i thought you said let's think it over.
you have been my life.
and i never planned growing old without you.

shadows bleeding through the light.
where our love once shined so bright.
came without a reason.
dont let go of us tonight.
love was always black and white.
but havent i always loved you.

but when i need you,
you're almost here.
and i know thats not enough.
and when i'm with you,
i'm close to tears.
cuz you're only almost here.

i would change the world.
if i had a chance, oh wont you let me.
treat me like a child.
throw your arms around me.
oh please protect me.

bruised and battered by your words.
dazed and shattered now it hurts.
havent i always loved you.

but when i need you,
you're almost here.
and i know thats not enough.
and when i'm with you,
i'm close to tears.
cuz you're only almost here.

bruised and battered by your words.
dazed and shattered now it hurts.
havent i always loved you.

but when i need you,
you're almost here.
well i never knew how far behind i left you.

and when i hold you,
you're almost here.
well i'm sorry that i took our love for granted.

and now i'm with you,
i'm close to tears.

cuz i know i'm almost here.
only almost here.

[0033]

2006-06-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

i feel a fever coming la.
body ache.
cold.
and warm forehead.
i think it's a fever.
terrible headache.
i want you by my side.

itsstupidhowiwantthingstobe.
cuzicantsortoutmyfeelings.
iknowidontlovehimanymore.
notmorethanafriend.
buttheresjustsomuchicantdo.
tobreakhisheart.
idontknowhowimgoingtosurvivethis.
iwantyoubymyside~~sweetie.~~

[0032]

2006-06-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

ok people.
i'm back from czech.
haha.
had great fun.
and lots of sad memories too.
but i guess things have passed.
and i'm just gonna have to settle things soon.

three categories.
three gold medals.
two catogory winners.
one tpchoir.
(:

thought we all couldnt make it.
but we did well in the end.
we've all been through so much together.
joy and pain.
despite all the politics and things going on,
we still did well.
and i'm happy.
i'm glad we all pulled through.
happy for consort too.
full marks for both categories that they took part in.
and i'm sure we all felt happy.
tears of joy flowed.
and thats the most endearing sight.
everyone hugging each other.
and things have all turned out fine.
and are going to be better.
but whats my life gonna be like when i'm no longer a choir girl.
haha.
i guess choir has been a large part of my school life.
and i sure have learnt alot from it.
and if i can.
i wish i can take ALL the memories with me.
and relive them again.
love always, juls.

[0031]

2006-06-05T20:08:00.000+08:00

ok people.
i'm flying off to czech tmr.
in case anyone doesnt remember.
and i will miss people here.

things just arent going back to normal.
and i dont know why.

and i think AJ trashed us during the workshop today.

another random post.
bye people.
shall blog and post pics after i come back.
(:

[0030]

2006-06-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

RAH.
today was a super unproductive day.
i think.
oh no no.

i went shopping with my little dearest.
abigail.
(:
well.
17 years of kinship.
ha. so i guess i wont know how my life's gonna be without her.
(:
was out shopping with this cousin of mine.
bought giordano stuff for the czech trip.
[x] jeans
[x] olive green polo tee.
[x] orange polo tee.

loves!!!

more shopping.
shop shop SHOP!

i'm a typical girl.
i love to shop.
and anyway.
choir's tmr.
i need to slp.
or else..
i'll be paying euros even before i get there.
FINE SYSTEM. hmmrpf.

[0029]

2006-06-04T12:16:00.000+08:00

went to play mj yesterday.
at amelia's hse.
won enough to pay for half a milkshake.
(:
but who's willing to pay for the other half?
hahaha.

fingers are all red now!
):
cuz ~~i scalded myself by hot water~~.
TWICE in a row.
hmrpf.

wonder whats going on in his mind.
i have got NO IDEA at al.

and ~~the stupid teacher-student scandal is on the papers~~.
like wth can.
haiya.
no comments la.
lalala.

after-eight chocolates make me happy!
(:
at this rate i'll be losing my voice.
real soon.
=x

[0028]

2006-06-02T21:19:00.000+08:00

dissappointed is not the word.
but i have no idea what the word is.
to describe what i'm feeling.
~~confused?~~

i dont know what's going on now.
whats the aim of my life.
whats the point of living anymore.
it's painful to feel controlled.
and to feel like everything i do i'm gonna hurt someone.
i cant just be me anymore.
cuz someone's constantly watching the things i do.

happy.
will i?
or maybe thats what you think.
maybe i will.
but who knows.

emo.
thats what i am now.
lost myself somewhere.
why make me feel like i have to choose between friends and him.
i dont want to.
cuz that feeling sucks.

someone's doubting me time and again.
thinking of things i'll do behind his back.

and so it goes.
and you're the only one who knows.
HA.
think of someone.
and the song will come alive.
and i guess i was moved a little during practice today.

a pretty random post.
it's time to go shopping soon.

when you wish upon a star._____*

[0027]

2006-06-01T22:57:00.001+08:00

when you wish upon a star.
your wishes will come true. (:

2006-06-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

HI JULS ITS ME JO.

im bored,really.

~~i miss him,sigh~~

[0026]

2006-06-01T13:39:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOSH!
THEDRILLINGISDRIVINGMEMAD!!
SOMEONEGETMEOUTOFTHEHOUSE!
):

[0025]

2006-06-01T11:07:00.000+08:00

willanyonejustsavemefromthe~~earthquake~~.
you'llknowwhatimeanifyou'reinmyhouserightnow.

anyway, here's ALOT of photos.
err. after.. a few outings. =x
with friends AND boyfriend. (:

first up. plaisirdechanson2006. (:

BOYFRIEND//daryl. (:

darlings//jo and jill

prettybabe//olivia. =p

sweetheart//sherlyn

dearie//adeline

bestie//jo

max. (:

sweetest//guancheng

xuanz (:

george! (:

henry. (:

coach//prem. HA.

choirgirls

femalechorus incomplete.

sopranos. (:

tkfriend//marie

hongyi and ruth. (:

ahgong//hongyi

cutest!//amelia (olivia's sister) (:

luvena. (:

next up. daryl's birthday.

birthdayboy and his cake. (:

birthday boy and his boyfriend. =x

tammy me and gc.

pretty//amelia

me, tammy and gc again.

darling//tammy! (:

tammy and her ~~forfeit~~ prized possession. =p

hmmm. davinci with the sweetest.
(excluding mr boyfriend. =x)

darlings//lyn and jo.

darlings//lyn and jo again. but with me! (:

the self-proclaimed knights//hanrui max chinsoon. (*faints)

lastly, parkway after choir.
(and some while waiting for the guys to end.)

sweeties//jill and val.

soppies!//jill val me jo.

the UNSPOILT photo//val jill me adeline.

here's the spoilt one. =x sorry george! heh.

me and jill acting stupid. and val still sane. HA.

me gc and ade.. with JO at the top left corner.

me gc and ade, without jo. haha.

jill me and val.

here's poster boy aka choir president// CHRIS! haha. SORRY! =p

and here's my boyfriend.
on the bus ride to parkway. (:
(and while waiting for the people to end)

i guess pictures speak a thousand words.
so thats all about my week.
(:

oh my.
how would my life be without anyone of you.
(:

[0024]

2006-05-30T00:06:00.000+08:00

hey ~~BOYFRIEND.~~
here's something for you.

sorry doesnt mean anything to me anymore.
because the hurt you've caused is more than i can take.

[0023]

2006-05-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

maths was ok.
gp sucked.
no other comments.

i'm not in the mood.

tell me what to do.
give up or hold on to it.
i'm lost too.
argh.

freak how things cant go my way.
and when i thought things were going back to normal.
it's going haywire again.
my life's in a mess.
my thoughts are screwed up.

freak you.
freak me.

[0022]

2006-05-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

AH.
TESTS TESTS ALL GO AWAY!
):

so much to do.
so much to catch up.
but SO LITTLE TIME.

no school tmr.
so it's time to mug.
but there's totally no mood for mugging.
i'm serious.
it's time to MUG, juls.
MUG!

my EXAMS plus holiday schedule.
[x] 2605 gp papers in the morning.
[x] 2605 maths papers in the afternoon.
[x] 2605 choir practice at night.
[x] 2705 choir practice. female chorus.
[x] 2905 maths makeup lessons.
[x] 2905 choir practice.
[x] 3005 maths makeup lessons.
[x] 3005 choir practice.
[x] 3105 tpjc choir concert.
[x] 0106 gp makeup lessons.
[x] 0206 maths results.
[x] 0606 flying to czech.
[x] 1206 flying back from czech.
[x] 2606 chemistry paper.
[x] 2706 physics paper.

there goes my holiday.
all into mugging.
MUG MUG MUG.
):

[0021]

2006-05-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARYL!
(:

today was a relatively fun day!
had lotsa fun really.
except for half an hour of the day probably.
zzz.

hmmm.
bought him a levi's jeans that he liked.
then limyun came.
haha.
guest appearance of the day.
(:

had lunch at sakura with limyun, gc, tammy, daryl.
fun how we finished more than almost 40 plates of sushi.
zzz.
played zhong ji mi ma.
think i couldnt take it after two forfeits man.
terrible.
wierd things that they get us to eat. ):
soy sauce. plus lime juice. plus lemon tea. plus fish roe. plus orange juice.
gross.
but i finished it anyway.

then. went to kbox.
amelia, capri, tammy, gc, daryl.
was having so much fun.
and went so so so freakin high.
until someone called to spoil the day.
and i thought daryl would get mad.
but he didnt anyway.
(:

IRRITATING is the best word to describe that caller.
argh.

anyway..
it was fun again after the calls.
then headed home.
I'M FREAKIN' TIRED.
(:
so i shall head to bed soon. (:

[0020]

2006-05-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

Breathe Again.

have you wondered how it feels when it's all over
wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew
never knowing where you're going
when you face a brand new day
it used to be that way
now i just close my eyes and say

i just wanna breathe again
learn to face the joy and pain
discover how to laugh a little
cry a little, live a little more
i just wanna face the day
forget about the woes of yesterday
maybe if i hope a little, try a little more
i'll breathe again

starting out again was never easy
dissappointments come and go but life still goes on
with a bit of luck, it's a brand new start
that might just worth my way
dont need to walk away
dont wanna live a life's replay

i just wanna breathe again
learn to face the joy and pain
discover how to laugh a little
cry a little, live a little more
i just wanna face the day
forget about the woes of yesterday
maybe if i hope a little, try a little more
i'll breathe again

things will work out fine
if you cant find the courage to look at the night
to see the break of dawn

i just wanna breathe again
learn to face the joy and pain
discover how to laugh a little
cry a little, live a little more
i just wanna face the day
forget about the woes of yesterday
maybe if i hope a little, try a little more
i'll breathe again

[0019]

2006-05-21T21:26:00.000+08:00

ok.
so life's been stagnant for the past weekend.
except for boring college day.
haas.
but i made it fun by bringing THE camera! (:
and..
choir practice.

ooh.
how boring life can be.
COMMON TESTS GO AWAY.
i'm so totally unprepared for exams.
for everything.
not even the choir concert.
like CRAP.
but i guess things will turn out well.
(:

life's so colourful with colourful sweets.
(:

at least it helps me get through the long studying hours.
and all the statistics questions.
haas.

the song Breathe Again is nice.
so sweets.
maybe i'll put it up sometime.
till then..
see ya!
(:

more normal distribution questions.
zzz.

[0018]

2006-05-21T21:04:00.000+08:00

THE casanova//daryl =p

boyfriend//daryl (like the blurry effect)

THE lovable ones//sher.aunt.lyn

lovelies//sining.cindy

crazy one//danial

s10 girls. (:

s10 guys//capri.gc

hamster//minfeng =p

preetty//amelia

classmate//marcus

dearie//lynette

max.

choirgirls//adeline.amie.lynette

dearie//fiona

[0017]

2006-05-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

bestie//jo

bestie//jo

sopps//jo.val.jill

dearie//lynette

dearie//adeline

choir//adeline.guancheng

specky//me

dearie//jillian

[0016]

2006-05-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

WOOTS.
my camera is well and alive again!!!
it's time for camwhoring. (:

[0015]

2006-05-18T09:15:00.000+08:00

it's just really boring now i swear.
~~i'm sorry i havent been attending lessons.~~
but i'm so sick and tired of life that i'm breaking down.
i swear i'm falling sick.

things are just NOT going right for me.
i'm so lost.
dont know what i'm supposed to do.
even after talking..
i feel things just cant go back the way it used to be.
at least that's for me.
i dont know what's life gonna be without you.
but life now is worst than it was before.
you cant get things right.
and just change your mood as and when you like.
i'm so confused.
if anyone would just be kind.
kill me.
if not just DONTSAYTHINGSTOMAKETHINGSWORST.

[0014]

2006-05-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

life's this bad.
now i dont know if things are going back to normal.
there's still the ~~after effect of everything.~~
and some REALLY NICE people just cant MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.

and my ~~"best"~~ friend.
you betrayed my trust mans.

and it's gross how your mood can switch within seconds.
and it's been an EMBARRASSING experience for me today.

just finished my gp file.
and i'm off to bed.
zzz.

[0013]

2006-05-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

JO!!!
they bully me!! *WAILS OUT LOUD*

ok.
i just found out they were not.
(:

ok. and so..
today was a relatively boring day.
went for the seasportsheats today.
although it was meant for yr1s.
and i was so freaking bored.
i couldnt even sit on the floor.

freakfreakfreakfreakfreakfreak
freakfreakfreakfreakfreakfreak.

oh!
there's vj concert tmr.
and i was promised a GOOD show.
right carol?!
(:

ok.
i'm freaking tired.
hahaha.
and i love my new necklace.
love it to bits.
(:

nights then.

[0012]

2006-05-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

OOH.
it's not fun to stay at home on a SUNDAY.
thats why i'm feeling grouchy today.
and after my shower,
i went CRAZY.
dont believe ask jo.
(:

to: everyone.
ilurfeeyou!
(:
to: joanne and fiona and lynette and olivia and cindy and sining and.. ok. all my gal friends.
iLURFEEyou MORE. (:

[0011]

2006-05-13T21:40:00.000+08:00

at this point in time,
i think i'm TOTALLY LOST.
cuz someone says he decided to apologise.
but cuz i cant get out of the house, he says forget it.

so if anyone can tell me what to do.
~~please do drop me a msg.~~
cuz i think i'm going to go crazy.
my mind's giving way.
in no time, i'll just die of madness.
i swear.

[0010]

2006-05-13T20:10:00.000+08:00

rights. i havent had a good day since idontknow when.
and today? it's STILL not a good day.
but i guess it's a better one.
went to study with cindy today.
guess thats the most beneficial session for me every week.
sh*t the 'a's. i dont like them.

i'm so bored.
and famous amos cookies rawks my socks.

just have the sudden urge to see you.
guess i miss you so.

[0009]

2006-05-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

things just go so wrong.
and i guess this is the worst point of my life.
i swear.
i'm cant get anything i want.
everything i used to have is all lost.
but i dont know if it's gonna be for better or for worst.

i'm sorry jo. i cant keep my promise.

~~ilurfeeyou.~~
but i really wanna let go.
cuz i'm tired of this life.
i'm not your slave.
i dont think i deserve this.

[0008]

2006-05-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.
i swear i am.
tired of everything.
tired of putting on a mask.
hiding my emotions from everyone in school.

i'm so confused.
i see two sides of you.
first you said things about me.
then now you talk to me like nothing ever happened.
i dont know which one i'll get to see in the future..
the nice? or the insensitive you.

i have the right to choose my friends.
and i'm just close to them.
thats not flirting.
if i'm flirting with my close guy friends, and it makes you unhappy,
how do you think i feel when i see you talking all sweet and nice to your other not-so-close girlfriends.

stay strong.
thats what everyone tells me.
i tried my best to hold my tears.
or even put on a smile on my face.
but i guess.. deep down inside i am bleeding.
it hurts so bad. the things he say.
i couldnt hold back any longer.
tears just rolled down during the bus ride home.

i promise i wont cry too much my friend.
but just let me cry for tonight. ok?

and jo and fiona.. thanks for everything girls.

[0007]

2006-05-11T10:01:00.000+08:00

HELLO!
i'm talking in the library with mr HONGYI! (:
time to vent my anger!!!
growls.
just ate chicken rice.
DONT SAY I DIDNT EAT. i listened ok.

k.
i shall just talk.
blog later. =p

[0006]

2006-05-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

ok.
so whats wrong with the world now.
it's making me feel so emo.

i mean..

to: mr. one
i dont know how my life's gonna be without you.
but i really hope it'd be better.
i dont know how to hurt you.
i really dont want to.

to: mr. two
I'M SORRY.
i really didnt mean to leave you there.
i thought you left already.
i'm confused enough alrights.

to: my three miss darlings.
ilurfeeyou.
thanks for all the talks and scoldings.
at least enough to make me laugh when i'm down.

to: mr. three
thanks for letting me share my problems with you.
and of course for letting me cry it out.
i guess it felt much better.

to: mr. four
thanks for all the talks and encouragements!
(:

ok.
just came back from the MJ CONCERT.
pretty entertaining.
i guess the bus ride alone made me feel really emo.
thinking about my life.
and how's it's been being ~~single~~ less attached for a week.
but i guess things around me just go on.
guess i've cried enough.
I'LL JUST HAFTA MOVE ON.

AND THANK GOD FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME.
(:

[0005]

2006-05-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

some crappy quiz that i found from a random blog.
hahaahaha.
some parts are true.
some parts i havent quite discovered?
=x
argh.
i'm just plain bored.
last entry and i'm off for lessons.
cant wait anymore. ):

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

[0004]

2006-05-10T08:53:00.000+08:00

OH NO!
i think i'm down with a TERRIBLE disease. ):
JOANNE! save me!
argh.
i'm hungry ~~again~~.

feeling so emo today la..
hais.
if it's so tiring to hold on..
why not just GIVE IT UP.
cant help but just keep wanting to slap myself now mans.

listening to superwoman.
such a nice and sad song la.
growls.
i'm hungry.
hahah.
this post is kinda rubbi-fied.
okok.

i'm thinking.. argh.
nvm.
rubbified post.
argh.
hahahahaha.
i'm MAD!

[0003]

2006-05-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

hello!
i'm supposed to be giving tuition now. =x
hahaha.
my girl's eating dinner. so it's ok!

was late again for school today.
didnt want to go for pe.
hees.
ALL tutorials are SO BORING!
):
dread going to school except for CHOIR!
wees.

lalala.
oh. my day. we were having really boring chem tutorial.
and then.. there was music coming from the hall!
so me and chinsoon spent like.. the rest of the time singing.
hahahahaha.

I'M BORED!
and sick. ):
i'm craving for VANILLA MILKSHAKE!
but someone wont let me have it. ):
so sad.

okok. gtg for tuition now.
hahahaha.

[0002]

2006-05-09T08:12:00.000+08:00

ooh..
it's 8.10 am on a school day and i'm still AT HOME!
so lazy to go to school. hahaha.
lalala.
k la.
printing some darn chem notes now.
rushing to school.

LOVE MY NEW BLOG.
LOVE JOANNE FOR DOING UP MY TAGBOARD.
ilurfeeyou! (:

[0001]

2006-05-08T21:17:00.000+08:00

birth of a new blog.
(: